Every situation leading to a divorce is unique; comparing one person’s experience to another is not recommended.  However, there is definitely a right and a wrong way to proceed.  There are a few common mistakes that can be avoided in an effort to make the process run as smoothly as possible.

1. Letting your emotions do the talking

Seek an outlet for your sadness, pain, and anger that is not your spouse or your attorney.  It’s tempting to let what you’re feeling fuel your decision process, but your separation and divorce agreement is not the place in which to attempt to settle any scores. 

You need clarity of purpose and of vision so you can make the decisions that will be most beneficial for you and your children (if you have them).

2.  Hiding assets

This is not the time to engage in “creative accounting.”  Produce honest and accurate information on your assets and your debt, as well as an accurate accounting of your family’s budget and any future expenses that may be incurred.

 If you are discovered hiding assets or failing to disclose them, you could be subject to a monetary fine or other sanctions. In short,  this is NEVER a good idea.

3.  Forgetting about taxes

Once you decide to divorce, every decision you make will eventually have tax implications.  It’s important that you bear this in mind when making determinations about transfers of money, property, or investments.  

Your divorce attorney should be familiar with the tax implications of child support, alimony, or anything else in question during the process.

4.  Forgetting the children

This seems like an obvious one, but because divorce is often fraught with high emotion, it’s important to keep the best interests of the children in the forefront, and not to put them in the middle of your disputes with your spouse.

Obviously, their emotional well-being is critical, as is providing for their livelihood.  Keep the overall picture in mind as you and your spouse embark on negotiations.

5.  Under (or Over) valuing your assets

When you divorce, the idea is to properly divide assets equitably, and that can be tricky if you haven’t properly valued them.  Getting to keep your house may seem like a “win,” but unless you’re still able to pay for the mortgage after your divorce, this may not be the win it seems.  You could be driven further into debt, which would add significant financial worry to an already difficult recovery.

6.  Forgetting to update your beneficiary information

Your ex could be entitled to your insurance or retirement account if you forget to update your beneficiary information on wills, retirement account, or insurance. Consult an attorney before changing any beneficiary designations, as you may be required to keep your spouse as a beneficiary in some cases until the divorce.


Is it a mistake to move out of the marital home before discussing divorce with a lawyer?

It can be a complicated decision. Moving out without legal advice may affect your rights during the divorce process, especially regarding property division and child custody. Consulting with a lawyer first is often recommended.

What role does emotional decision-making play in divorce mistakes?

Emotions can cloud judgment during a divorce, leading to decisions that may not be in your best interest. Seeking emotional support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial while making crucial decisions.

Why is it important to avoid airing grievances on social media during a divorce?

Sharing personal feelings or negative information about your spouse on social media can be used against you during the divorce. It’s best to keep private matters offline to protect your interests and maintain a respectful approach.

Is it a mistake to rush into a divorce without understanding my rights and options?

Yes, rushing into a divorce without proper understanding can lead to unintended consequences. Consulting with a divorce lawyer will help you comprehend your rights, options, and the potential outcomes of your decisions.

What are some practical steps to avoid mistakes during divorce?

Some practical steps include seeking legal advice early, maintaining open communication, staying organized with financial documents, prioritizing the children’s well-being, and approaching negotiations with a rational mindset.

Perhaps most importantly, don’t forget to explore ALL of your options before beginning the divorce process in earnest.  There are several different ways in which to achieve the dissolution of your marriage.  Take your time and evaluate which best suits you and the personality of your spouse, that is in line with your needs and the needs of your children.  The end goal is to reach a fair and equitable settlement for both parties while keeping the best interests of the children in mind so the new version of your family can move forward peacefully.