As a parent about to divorce, you have one priority – your kids. That will also be a judge’s priority when awarding custody. They seek to do what is best for the child. So, if you think you can look after your children much better than your spouse, does that mean you should fight hard to get sole custody or the majority of possession? Not necessarily.

Below are some reasons not to fight for custody in a divorce.

Your child does not want to see you fighting over them

Kids do not like to see their parents arguing with each other about anything. Divorce is already hard enough on children, but high-conflict divorces can be absolutely devastating for your kids. When you fight over them, they may feel even worse than they already do. Worse, they may start to feel more like a possession than a person.

Custody battles make co-parenting harder in the long run

Divorce battles are not like sports matches where you give it everything you have to defeat the other party, then shake hands and say, “Well played” at the end. It is too personal and the wounds can take years to heal. The more civil you keep things, the easier it will be to communicate and cooperate to raise your child.

 Fighting for custody will take its toll on you

Arguing is stressful on its own. Custody arguments take that stress to whole new levels, often leading to accusations and the resurrecting of long-buried incidents. Fighting for sole custody will also take its toll on your wallet, as the longer your divorce takes, the more it will cost.

There are times when you need to fight for custody. For instance, if your spouse is a danger to your children or tries to prevent you from seeing your children. Yet, extreme circumstances aside, accepting that sharing is best is generally wise. Shared custody has been increasingly favored by courts as the most desirable form of custody, and for good reason: it has been found to be better for children in several ways. It helps kids maintain stronger bonds with both parents, encourages parents to cooperate and communicate with one another, and helps provide kids with the support and guidance they need to grow into healthy and well-adjusted adults.

Having support from a legal team ready to fight for your custody rights and the good of your kids when necessary gives you the security to negotiate in a more peaceful manner.